Why am I saying I’m a game developer?
No that’s not some sort of sarcasm here!
It can be difficult sometimes to really get what others are seeing in what you write (in fact it’s that way most of the time) and from some of the comments I received off the blog about the last post I now know it didn’t exactly sounded like I intended it to.
That’s usually not something I care about but blogging is tricky. For example when I wrote my 2 poetry books (second one co-written with my wife) the point was exactly to see what would each people see in it. I had my own version but it didn’t matter “that much”. I was mostly interested to hear what others would find in it and the results were quite surprising and touching.
When I write on this blog though it’s the “more honest” part of me talking so I have to be careful which words I choose. Not that I fear to say something that would offend someone (I haven’t really gone in that territory anyway) but because I’m actually trying to say something specific. So yeah it’s tricky specially that English is a 2nd language for me.
So back on the subject. Why am I saying I’m a game developer? Why am I not saying I’m a programmer, poet or an author instead? After all programming is what I do for a living and I did published 2 books that made more money than Golemizer so far (though I’m returning all the money to that amazing non-profit editor that helped me with this project). One thing for sure I don’t say I’m a game developer just because I released a game …
I like to create stuff. Not material things but concepts, arguments, mental images, feelings, … That kind of stuff. That’s why I like poetry. Well mostly why I like to write poetry. I’m a terrible reader. Creating games is offering me the possibility to mix this passion with what I’m good at, programming. But more than that, me creating games is how I see myself. I’ve done so since I started playing with Construx (drawing a road on paper and fixing it to the to the motor to simulate a rotating driving game) and then when I discovered Basic at 11 when my mom bought our first computer. I never was a whiz kid though and most of the stuff I was trying was way over my head and failing but I had the interest.
You know when you ask a kid what they want to do when they’ll be old and they answer you “I want to be a firefighter”? Well I’m 30 and now I just can’t see myself being anything else other than a game developer. When we’re young we change our answer almost everyday but when we get older we tend to narrow it a bit. I doubt I’ll ever want to become a firefighter again …
So I took a step forward and actually did something to back it up. Even though success might still be something to come I now have a taste of what I was saying and now know that it’s really what I want.
So I’m saying I’m a game developer because that’s what I want to keep doing. I’m past the age of changing ideas everyday and I really don’t feel like I’m cornering myself by saying this. It provides me what I’ve always been after ever since I was young and it’s now something I’m able to do with some ease because of my professional experience.
So that’s why this blog is not called “Over00, random guy writing whatever things cross his mind”. It serves as an identity reference. Not that I feel insecure about who I am but because I’ve come to the point of believing it, really wanting it and knowing I can do it.
So sure I might have my moments being sarcastic or rumbling my frustrations here but that still doesn’t change the foundation. Everyone is going through some frustration at some point but it doesn’t mean they are constantly doubting what they might be aiming for.
Yes some posts will have a more negative tone but that will not become “Over00, stuff about things”. I said this blog would be the “more honest” part of me speaking so there will be both good and bad, take it or leave it but that’s me.