I think that’s what’s annoying me most when it comes to MMOs. No matter how good I can be I still suck.

I vaguely remember trying APB Reloaded. Apparently some kind of 3rd person shooter MMO or something like that. All I can remember from it is that I was useless. I was a cop trying to stop bad guys and I was useless. I just didn’t earn my right to kill bad guys players just yet.

I also vaguely remember playing Planetside. It felt like some 1st person action shooter… Until I was dead, dead, dead and dead again. Oh right… I can point and shoot but I can’t do shit. Nice.

One game I keep getting back to is Quake Live. I’m not a pro at it but I’ve played multiplayer 1st person shooters for so long that even today I’m able to not be last and even sometimes be among top-tier after a dozen of games (once I get back to the mindset I guess). I guess I really don’t like when the game is holding me back.

I’m not an MMO guru but I’d guess that somewhere there’s a place for players’ abilities to matter. Don’t drop EVE here because while a newbie can still do good he can’t do shit by himself. He still needs the money to buy what’s required to matter. Maybe it’s realistic but it’s surely not for people like me.

I still haven’t tried Darkfall. Too bad it cost something to try so I won’t. Maybe there you can be someone without the grind but how could I know (I doubt it though).

The biggest thing that kept me from MMOs for so long now is that I always have to go through some kind of bullshit before being able to group or play against other people. Why?! Just let me go. Let me fail. Let me experiment! Nope. Apparently we’re stuck in some old-minded cycle. Grind your way to the top to be able to get some fun. Spend time. You can’t do shit by your own.

I’d like to play some MMO with some people. The problem is that I don’t know when I’d be able to play. So I’m left behind or I have to drag others behind. Yes some MMOs have some fancy system that allows you to group with others of higher levels. You still suck. You’re still the third wheel.

This year I’d like to see some kind of MMO that allows me to play with others. That’d be the first since a long time. That’d be nice to play very casually and still feel like you matter.

But yeah… MMOs reward time spent online I get that. It’s logical. That’s also why I don’t play any MMO. I can’t seem to matter in them since I can only play them very casually. Because of that the only thing MMO can mean to me is some kind of shooter like Quake Live (when I can find a game… the Instagib games are rare it seems… too bad).

I liked that about SWG. Just before I left (after 90% of players…) I was able to run my own sweet store by not playing often. I had fun to pay a $15 subscription just to decorate my store and selling resources. Not sure I’d like to run a spreadsheet in a game though. That’s why my SWG store wasn’t very successful but at least I had fun getting in and checking my sales, my harvesters and talking to random buyers. It was quite some experience…

I’m not sure which MMO would be able to give me such fun now. It seems that I always have to start from the bottom to get anywhere and by then I get bored.

That’s like these people saying you have to reach Hell or Nightmare or whatever before Diablo 3 gets fun. What? Shouldn’t a game be fun right away? Oh well… The problem must be me surely…